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/ZTG/ - Zootopia General: Please tell me I didn't fuck this up

Pastebin: pastebin.com/iYDU8g2T
Booru: zoo.booru.org
ZTG Creator List: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19heSY9BvV3t0qPa2XJa6q2n7ywyl1Yhckzc1Db-aGF4

Archives: www.ztarchive.com / desuarchive.org
Previous thread: http://www.ztarchive.com/trash/thread/29944838
Previous thread: https://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/29944838

Thematic Thursdays: /fa/shion is due NOW!!!!
Previous Theme: Extinct Animals
More information: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14sf_QBuL4E6S11se28Xl9Sp3ohgnrhGYE4SchwSUQjY
TT Archive: t3event.tumblr.com
TT Pastebin: pastebin.com/gudYsYHL
>>
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>>29995568
>Please tell me I didn't fuck this up

>Doesn't end the thread edition with 'edition'
>Doesn't link to previous thread
>Has Gideon in the OP image

Nah, ya fuck'd up
>>
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Ey guys, gimme random characters to draw/ink, i want to ink in some stuff before i play dnd today
>>
>>29995682
>Nah, ya fuck'd up
I'm sorry, Anon.
>>
>>29995741
Mrs Otterton in a sexy pose
>>
>>29995741
Sunny and zeke? They could use some more love. Oh how about your EYEBROWS bun!
>>
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>>29995741
Hey Lulu! How about Lucas in the proto-zoot style? He could use a collar.

>>29995568
>>29995682
Just so it doesn't get lost:
Previous thread: http://www.ztarchive.com/trash/thread/29971669
Previous thread: https://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/29971669
>>
>>29995741
I humbly request this big dumb anonbun >>29995748 getting a big 'ol bonk on the head with a rolled up bunishment paper for being a dumb bun
>>
>>29995741
Seconding >>29995769
Been a while since we saw those two.
>>
I should also say plz provide refs if you have any for non canon characters, i am lazy haha
>>
Legend has it that if three Zootopia generals are posted in a row with Gideon pictures, the resulting
shartstorm will effectively be not unlike The Literal End of The World.
>>
>>29995828
Here is sunny(bunny) and zeke(yeen)
>>
>>29995828
And here is EYEBROWS bun, sometimes known as Smidge
>>
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>>29995783
>I humbly request this big dumb anonbun
That's not a big dumb anonbun -- it's Judy!
Uh, wait, you were kinda talking about me, weren't you?
>>
>>29995888
Really nice drawing Anon!
Sunny is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and I need a boyfriend like him.
>>
>>29996301
Bore does some fantastic pics.
>>
>>29995741
Uhhh a gay wol
>>
>>29996298
All buns are big dumb buns though, it's in their bunna
>>
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>>29996415
Here you go, anon
>>
>>29995741
Avo lounging in her apartment
>>
>>29995741
Nick with an insanely poofy tail.
>>
>>29996415
I bet Wolter fakes being gay so he won't get suspected of having a relationship with Anneke.
>>
>>29996508
NOOOOOO
>>
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boop
>>
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>>29996733
GT, holy shit! This came out fantastic!
Thanks for streaming this while you were working on it. You're a cool duder for doing that while putting up with a lot of annoying questions from me.
>>
>>29996862
>GT, holy shit! This came out fantastic!
And it probably wouldn't hurt if I got your name right, too: TG.
>>
Toobz
>>
>>29997163
Good tubes.
>>
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The chick who voices Yuri in Yitexity's Savage Company is a cheater:

>Two years ago, I used another voice actor's demo reel and put it on a voice acting website as my own.

https://twitter.com/EliseMeggie/status/1256309012359872512
>>
Does humanity exist in this world? If they do, where the fuck are they?
Or did they all die in a war or something?
>>
>>29997319
>Does humanity exist in this world?
straight no.
>>
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>>29997163
I got a thing for I.M Weasel and Smartass
>>
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>>29997299
>>
>>29997319
>>29997338
They do exist. They're living on the moon after humanity escaped nuclear holocaust. Now they're planning on touching down on earth again, to reclaim what's their own. And in the process, Judy will be turned into a cum dumpster for lonely scientists while Nick has to watch
>>
>>29997319
all got wiped out during the white chlorination syndrome.
>>
>>29997299
I hate you, twitter stalker anon.
>>
>>29997382
>Smartass
Patrician taste anon.
>>
>>29997319
Nick narrates in the first trailer iirc "In the world of Zootopia, Humans never happened."

So no humans is about as hard canon as possible
>>
>>29997442
Betty should put on Kaine's outfit while Anneke wears 2B's and Avo wears A2's
>>
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>>29997545
>Trusting a fox

You have learned nothing during your stay here
>>
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>Betty wanted the nerdy goat intern while Remmy wanted to bang the cute wolf secretary with the fat ass
>>
How do you deal with the fact that you'll never be able to stop your favorite posters and ccs from being driven away?
>>
>>29998041
They'll never be driven away from my Discord friends list.
>>
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>>29998041
Hope to see them again for Zootopia 2.
>>
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https://twitter.com/DaVidci_CodeX/status/1256588726169268229
>>
>>29998041
Stop being a debbie downer. My favorite CC stopped making content a long time ago, so what? he may not make content anymore but i still wish him well and hope he's doing alright. And even without him that doesn't mean there aren't other nice CCs and people in here.
>>
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>>29998203
>>
>>29998207
He's just shit-posting, Anon, looking for responses.
>>
>>29998203
>>29998210
Judy looks a bit out of proportioned, no?
>>
>>29998203
>>29998210
CUTE
>>
>>29998203
>>29998210
>>29998248
Not to mention Nick's grossly deformed hand
>>
>>29998277
With the different color I assumed it was a cooking mit. To keep the metal handle from burning his hand and to keep fur out of the food.
>>
>>29998041
suck dick

die
>>
>>29998316
Cooking mit color is a bit off putting, it looks like its a cleaning glove
and it looks really tight to his paw, cooking gloves are usually bulky, yeah?
Room for improvement is all, I like pixel art and I like the idea of the picture but it could use a redline
>>
>>29998316
I'm talking about the fact that it inexplicably shrunk just to fit the glove
>>
>>29998203
I luv it
>>
>>29998203
How do you save a GIF from Twitter? (Desktop.)
>>
>>29998666
Twiiter won't allow it. So just search "gif from twitter" or "download gif from twitter". There's a lot of sites that allow you to download it from the url. Just note that twitter always converts gifs to mp4's so you will also have to convert the mp4 back to gif, yourself.
>>
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https://twitter.com/PeashyPeach/status/1256678458593329153
>>
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>>29998761
>>
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https://twitter.com/link6432/status/1256645105714376704
>>
>>29995568
Good men deserve a reward.
>>
>>29998818
puffy sheath
>>
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>>29998818
>>29999071
>>
>>29998761
Why is twitter such a mess? Holy shit.
>>
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https://twitter.com/ratuta/status/1256446309432619013
>>
>>29998041
I already turned Weaver off of one of my favorite RPGs by explaining it badly on Discord. It’s all downhill from here.
>>
>>29999632
I just rode that train. New Yorker artist got it right, probably because they ride it all the time
>>
>>30000000
Wildehopps is canon and adultery is a felony in Zootopia.
>>
>>30000003
Far as I'm concerned, you've got a good number because it begins with three, ends with three, and is built with zeroes in between
>>
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still gonna work on more inks later on, ive got several pictures I now have doodled out
>>
somebody outside of 4chan asked for their character drawn....was a fennec, so just made finnick turn into the busty fennec, ehehe
>>
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also i did this without a sketch so the arms are too fucking long and the legs too short.
>>
>>29997299
Personally I feel like the letter focuses more on her and her problems than the people her choices affected. It fails to acknowledge the wrong done, to warn others and set a good example, or to attempt to do right by those weird.

This will not make her look good at all.
>>
>>29998886
DOUBLE-TRIPS!
Also, that's pretty hot!
>>
>>29996508
He tried to fuck an elephant and got smooshed
>>
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https://twitter.com/oimotomeru91/status/1256589579680768002
>>
>ZTarchive doesn't have the last htread
What is happening?
>>
bun
>>
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>>29984982
>>29985148
>>29986305
>>29988336
>Bara Remmy
>Bara Dewey and Don
I spent way too much time on this
>>
>>30001427
I
Love
You
>>
>>30001427
This is really good
>>
>>30001427
That's fantastic
>>
>>30000283
Why gud eat dikdik
>>
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>>30001427
>"Hah! Looks like I'll have to use 20% of my power..."
>>
Goodnight /ztg/
I love you all (especially Terry)
>>
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>>30002292
Terry's got a lot of love to give
>>
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>>30001427
>>30002253
Please, I can't handle this much man.
>>
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Can't bring myself to be creative right now and the guilt is eating me alive
>>
>>30002468
give me an idea you wish you could work on
>>
>>30000268
Dumptruck ass indeed
>>
>>30002468
Let it consume you. How dare you experience the drawing equivalent of writers block? You deserve to be slapped for being human. Now go take a breather and know that you'll feel the impulse to create when your brain wants to
>>
>>30002328
>Bara Remmy and Don having their final battle, their muscles flexing so hard they rip through their clothes and their auras shatter the floor. Al goes flying through the wall
>>
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>>29997545
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nP9hU8eUfE
>>
When do you suppose Judy talks to Nick about her own past experiences aka the scratch from Gideon and her parent’s fear of predators? Before he goes to the academy? During it? Afterward? Nick opened up to her about the scouts, I’d imagine Judy would open up to him at some point.
>>
>>29998210
Probably should have been filed;
>Making_Breakfast_Almost_NSFW.gif
>>
>>30003231
>When do you suppose Judy talks to Nick about her own past experiences aka the scratch from Gideon and her parent’s fear of predators?
The split-second before Stu brains Nick with a pick-axe for defiling his daughter.
>>
>>
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>>30001783
>>30001845
>>30002005
Happy you like it
>>30002292
Sleep tight anon
>>30002321
DELETE
May you have a good night /ztg/
I will probably continue with some request from yesterday, tomorrow, but if you have new ones say them
>>
>>30002328
>>30002613
Nice to see Remmy and Don mended bridges and became friends.
>>
>>30002474
There's an IRL case of someone who nonviolently robbed a bank with a demand note. I'm trying to write about how Nick and Judy would go through the fallout of that. I have some notes, but that's all the progress I've made so far.

>>30002494
It's even worse than that. While I'm primarily a writer, I've also started to dabble in the arting, so now I get fucked both ways.
>>
>>30003450
Sleep warm tuber
>>
>>30003450
Have a good snooze mongoose.
>>
>>30003489
>It's even worse than that. While I'm primarily a writer, I've also started to dabble in the arting, so now I get fucked both ways.
Fellow WriteFag here: give me a five-sentence story. Nick and Judy watching the sun set over Zootopia.
>>
asdss


ggggg
ztz
>>
>>30003523
Not him, not a writefag either, here's what i could come up with.
>City sunsets were definitely different than burrows sunsets.
>Yes technically speaking both looked the same with the sky turning into a pale blue who gave way to warm oranges and then to dark hues as night fell
>But in bunnyburrows the pace slowed down, fewer mammals were outside and were already winding down from a day at work in the fields
>While in the city the lively pace kept going, while the workday was done mammals still went out to enjoy some fun of the nightlife
>And watching the city from her window Nick couldn't help but joing the bun who always marveled watching the city skyline at that moment when it would turn from a dark silouhette lit by the background, to a canvas slowly filling with the smaller specks and dots of light from the many buildings in the distance.
you can make fun of me now.
>>
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>>
How often does Nick fuck his mom and has he impregnated her?
>>
>>30004071
I wish someone would cut off your fingers
>>
>>30004086
Nick only fucks his mom
>>
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>>30004095
Indeed
>>
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>>30004054
Source? can't make out the signature.
>>
>>30003231
>scratch from Gideon
Honestly, I think Nick would only find out from other members of her family or Gideon himself. I don't think Judy consider that event as a big deal. Yes, it did subconsciously color her perception of foxes and predators, but it didn't really leave any scars in her, I would say. (And Byron confirmed that she don't have any scars on the outside, either) This is most evident, first when her parents bring up Gideon - Judy has no negative reaction to that, she just dismisses them, and second, when Gideon apologizes to Judy she just shrugs, again no big deal.

It's important to note how different her experience was in comparison to Nick's. She willfully went up to a known bully, and after the whole confrontation is done, Gideon leaves fairly quickly. Judy's friends then come to her aid and even praises her for what she did.
Nick, on the other hand, became friends with all these prey animals. For how long is not easy to say, but seeing how he introduced himself to them, they must have known each other for quite a while. Then out of nowhere, they turn on him. From the script: "Soon, all of the animals pile on, kicking and shoving him." Nick had to scramble out of there himself. And afterward, there was no one to pick him up.

So yeah, to Judy it's not a big deal. No point talking about it.
>>
>>30004302

https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/61003005
>>
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>>30004142
>>
>>30004561
aaaahhh
>>
>>30004515
Thanks.
>>
>>30003231
i feel theyd have to have a third party bring it up or that one comic where nick finds out the scars. at least i would feel like shit bringing "oh by the way i got scared and acted prejudiced because i got scratched as a kid so i have no fault on it :^)"
>>
>Does this count as heresy?
>>
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>>30004443
One more thing.

When Judy's parents called her, she wasn't being honest with them. She was clearly trying to keep up appearances. This does indicate that even if something was wrong with her she wouldn't just come out and say it.

I do find it kinda ironic that at the end of the movie, Judy knows more about Nick than he does about her, but fic after fic, this fandom still insists that Nick is the closed-off one. I honestly beg to differ.
>>
>>30004715
Space Marines have impotent penises, how can Nick fuck Judy if he can't get an erection?.
>>
asssssss
>>
>>30004715
>Haresy
>>
>>30004012
>you can make fun of me now.
WriteFag here: that's actually really good! It'd even make a nice opening to a great story. Thank you for sharing, Anon!
>>
>>30004822
zaush jikes
>>
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>>
Speaking of scars, how do you think Duke got his ones?
>>
>>30005054
Cum inflation
>>
>>30004942
I had all the vatiants of this pic but lost them on an accidental click.
Source on the image please? i need to recover my Bogo stash.
>>
>>30004804
The Wilde geneseed
>>
>>30005054
One-time fights. They happen all the time when you don't have much economic resources, doesn't matter if you "win" or lose, you still get your shit kicked. The only "win" you get is not end up as beaten up as the other guy you got into a fight with.
>>
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>Bogo and Nick's Overkill Investigation
>>
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>>30005266
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>>30005275
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>>30005281
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>>30005284
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>>30005290
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>>30005298
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>>30005306
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>>30005311
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>>30005316
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>>30005321
>>
>>30004822
Aww thanks Writefag anon, but i mean constructive critocism please. Where did i went too edgy? or sappy? or verbose? or forced? What did i do right? where could i improve? and if so how?
Besides grammar, that i know is all botched and butchered.
>>
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>>30005325
>>
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>>30005334
>>
>>30005341
Thanks for sharing pal
Someone already translated it to spanish a while ago and i read it then, nice seeing this one again.
>>
>>30005190

https://twitter.com/OhMyDredd/status/822838248884019205
>>
Watching old Kamen Rider episodes with Ozzy!
Getting really drunk with Ozzy!
Giving Ozzy a long blowjob!
Not raping Ozzy because you got affirmed consent earlier in the night, and you’ve been fuck buddies for months!
Swallowing Ozzy’s cum!
Brushing your teeth!
Falling asleep in Ozzy’s bed!
Waking up smelling like Ozzy!
>>
>>30005914
Ozzy telling you he'd call you an uber but he doesn't have money like that!
Ozzy making you pay for your own uber!
Getting ghosted by Ozzy for weeks!
Realizing Ozzy was never interested in you for anything other than sex!
>>
>>30005961
Realizing Ozzy is less deep than you thought!
Deciding Ozzy is a phony!
Dating someone other than Ozzy, who wants you around after you’ve swallowed their cum!
Never seeing Ozzy again!
>>
>>30006072
Marty would want you to stay around after you've swallowed his cum. Marty wouldn't ever give you the chance to leave after that.
>>
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>>30005549
Anon, i love you.
>>
>>30005333
>Where did i went too edgy? or sappy? or verbose? or forced? What did i do right? where could i improve? and if so how?
>Besides grammar, that i know is all botched and butchered.

What I really like is the compare-and-contrast between BB and Zoot: the same sun sets on both, but each location reveals its nature when it happens. You set up the overarching theme (the sunsets being different), then you show how the sunset is the same, regardless, before moving on to the differences in the two locations. Finally, you narrow your focus down to Nick and Judy and even there, you show the differences between the two. You suggest that Nick is a little more jaded than Judy. Judy marvels, whereas Nick is more drawn to Judy than the spectacle unfolding in front of him.

That's pretty damned good for five sentences.

The description of the progression of light in the second sentence as a little clunky. This is where you could have written a masterclass in word flow and minimalism: "Yes, technically speaking, both looked the same: the sun touched the horizon and the sky melded from pale blue, to burnt orange and finally to the soft velvet black of twilight."

I would have liked a description of the nightlight with more verve -- punchier verbs and not in passive voice: "At sunset, Zootopia erupted with nocturnal life. After diurnal mammals scampered home, the night shift took to the coffee shops and cafes, filling them with boisterous laughter and animated conversations."

Anyway, my .02. I very much enjoyed your little story.
>>
>>30005341
I don't know if I want to see this translated or not!
>>
>>30004012
So now someone should art it.
>>
>>30006072
you're a phone
>>
>>30004443
>>30004797
I feel like, because of Judy's tendencies to keep happy appearances and push through obstacles with a smile and determination, that her dismissal of Gideon is her trying to show that such things don't affect her when they probably do. Plus, I remember there was this one interview where Byron had said that some of Judy's attitude was her own assumption that she didn't have the same prejudices as her parents. After all, she didn't carry around a fox taser... but she did carry a fox repellent.

Judy's experience might not have affected her as much as Nick's affected him, because of all the factors you mentioned, but the effects were still there. Granted her family's attitude probably had more influence throughout her life, but that one event is probably the one of the few examples of foxes she has.

>I do find it kinda ironic that at the end of the movie, Judy knows more about Nick than he does about her, but fic after fic, this fandom still insists that Nick is the closed-off one.

Nick is an optimist hiding behind a shield of cynicism to protect himself; I don't know how people can ignore how Nick opened up to Judy without much prompt, sharing a moment that can feel shameful, when he has only known her for about two days and then practically jumped at the first opportunity Judy gives him to join her because he thought she believed in him. That is a lot of trust to give someone, because Nick was essentially putting his hope in Judy.

If Nick was willing to show Judy that vulnerability back then, I can't see him keeping things from her in the future. Judy is more likely to keep things hidden because otherwise she wouldn't be taken seriously, considering the "dumb" and "emotional" stereotypes about bunnies, and is probably habit by now.
>>
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>>30006108
I like how this implies two things.
That he wants to cuddle, and that you have no choice in the matter.
>>
Betty's got an absolute dump truck of an ass
>>
>>30006963
Thats where Marty lives
>>
>>30006482
You nailed it.

> Judy is more likely to keep things hidden because otherwise she wouldn't be taken seriously, considering the "dumb" and "emotional" stereotypes about bunnies, and is probably habit by now.

Even if Judy wanted to talk to someone, she simply couldn't. The movie implied that she had no friends, not even among her siblings, it would seem. At least no one would show up at her graduation ceremony, except her parents, who were probably on some kind of daycare watch with all those kids. Then when she leaves for Zootopia, only her parents are out there talking with her and are the only ones to get a hug. In her apartment, there are three pictures, one of her family, one with Cotton, and the last one is of herself with her dad. Lastly, (technically not canon) there was also the deleted scene, where her notepad was visible with something like "Make a friend" was written there.

There are her parents, of course, but they were pretty much swamping her all the time, being worried about her. I do think that their behavior are one of the main reasons she just started to keep things to herself because they would just blow things out of proportions.
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>>30006146
>Constructive criticism.
Anon, i also love you as much as >>30005549
>>
>>30007170
Source?
>>
>>30006932
It's illegal to say no to tubes.
>>
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>>30006146
>At sunset, Zootopia erupted with nocturnal life. After diurnal mammals scampered home
Yet another writeanon;
While this is upbeat and in keeping with the wonderous colouration of the scene, I don't think it would detract from the work by being a little more realistic by suggesting that, 'after diurnal mammals dragged themselves home,'
That being said, the originally proffered line tended more to pull the focus away from the sunset of the original work.
The author then having to decide if the added colour grows the overall descriptive, or if it muddies the emotion they may have been trying to create?
>don't have time to art.
>>
>>30007178
Thanks, Anon! I'm not as good at it as Comic, but it's fun to do, regardless.
>>
>>30007194

https://twitter.com/Seyrmo/status/1105279403343429632
>>
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>>29997163
>Buck

Gravely underrated
>>
>>30007508
You are correct. He really deserves more attention.




>>
>>30007504
Thank
You.
>>
>>30007395
>That being said, the originally proffered line tended more to pull the focus away from the sunset of the original work.
>The author then having to decide if the added colour grows the overall descriptive, or if it muddies the emotion they may have been trying to create?
WriteAnon, can you explain this a little more. I don't know if I'm totally grasping what you're saying.
>>
>>30007395
Author of the greentext here.
Honestly, the actual focus of the subject is the city skyline itself at that specific time of the day, How as the sunset progresses it goes from a black shape against a luminous orange canvas being lit by the sun as the background light, as it changes into being its own thing as the sky turns a dark blue and the previous silouhette litting itself with dots of light coming from the many buildings that soon take their own shapes. Granted, the guy asked for 5 sentences and i was originally going to give a bit mpre detail to both manmals living it, but i was already insecure with me esl and not knowing syntax that well so i cut the 3 extra sentences.
Also, can somebody tell me please for the love of god if the word is "silouete" or how is it spelled? it's driving me crazy as it is already.
>>30007446
Comic is a nice guy and excellent writting critic, but don't compare yourself to others, you're doing good as yourself already and helping selflessly is already a virtue.
>>
>>30007680
Author of the greentext again.
I think he means this.
The greentext has already 3 things going: The sunset itself, Nick and Judy enjoying said moment, and the added everyday mammal who's just living his life and is currently sunset and it's just another hour for him.
There needs to be focus on one of the topics and the rest is there to compliment. Give more focus to one theme, you're taking it away from the other two ones.
If you focus more on the everyday mammals than the other two themes, then hey, was this about judy and nick or what?
If you give Nick and Judy more focus than the other two, hey, are N&J in a weird timeless void or where/when are they and what are they enjoying? a blank wall?
Give focus to the 3 at once? if you don't do it carefully you end up with a mess of a greentezt too confusing to understand.
>>
>>30007735
Hey, GT, this is CritiqueAnon. I'm the one who made the original suggestion as well.

First off, if you're ESL, you should be damned proud of how well you've grasped the language. English is a fun language, but it's also a bit of a train wreck, too.

You did great with only five lines -- three more would have subtracted more than added. I really enjoyed what you put down.

And it's "silhouette" -- and you used it correctly.
>>
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>>30007680
The original story suggestion >>30003523
was aimed at a story revolving around Nick and Judy watching a sunset.
The story written >>30004012 did a pretty good job, and requested a critique.
one of the critiques >>30006146 looked to expand on the work, rather nicely, however I >>30007395 suggested that the additional narrative was taking a sidewards step to the original concept in two ways.
First by sounding a little artificially upbeat; 'scampering mammals' that had just finished a days work, and secondly by as I say above, looking slightly away from the original objective of the sunset.
So depending on what mood is trying to be created by the passage, the additional work, nice though it is, may be slightly out of place.
>and I've just seen the other responses, but have this anyway.
>>
>>30007028
Man, when you study Judy, her history is just as depressing as Nick's. Surrounded by family but no one who completely supports her vs no one trusting him because of his species.

What do you make of the Brothers and Sisters comic? Judy seems to be on friendly terms with Violet and everyone else, maybe it was a case where she felt she couldn't share with her family?
>>
How Libetarian is Nick?
>>
>>30007735
>>30007858
If in any way you feel the urge to write a full on theme, please feel within your rights to do so.
You could GT here, or just dump straight into one of the fic sites (I prefer AO3 but...), and drop a link to it back here.
My writing hint; listen to the work via a 'text to speech' (TTS) app without looking at it, any clunkiness wll stand out.
>>
>>30007944
WriteAnon, this is a very interesting way of looking at the story, and one I didn't think of. It's funny how a single word can change the tone and feel of a story: scamper vs. dragged. There's definitely a tone shift there.

Just as an aside, I love it when /ztg/ is like this: anons offering their insights and experience for other Zoot anons.
>>
>>30007924
Sleep tight bunner.
>>
>>30007395
Does anyone know of this original artwork, I don't think it was a Nobby?
>>
>>30008053
>I love it when /ztg/ is like this
We have our moments...
>>
>>30008030
>My writing hint; listen to the work via a 'text to speech' (TTS) app without looking at it, any clunkiness wll stand out.
This is a really good suggestion and one I would have never thought of. And if GT Anon expanded on his story, I'd love to read it.
>>
>>30008078
It's not, pretty sure it was Lulu?
>>
>>30007211
Is this the lie the tubes told Sleazy to trick him into letting them mooch off of him?
>>
>>30007865
Thanks for the tips.
Doubt it'll help. You're native speaker so clunky stands out, me? well, to give an idea, Saw this and sounded fluid and coherent to me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqTpHhaKtL8
Would have unironically told others the vid made sense. Only contextual clues told me the vid isn't coherent.
>It is Silhouette
THANK YOU.
And even more thanks for the criticism
>>30008030
Thanks but i doubt it. My moment passed already. Made a TT suggestion but the moment of the year for it is already over, it's like celebrating halloween on july, it feels odd and out of time.
Also, the coherence part above is also for you, i really can't even can't.
>>
>>30008325
>And even more thanks for the criticism
You're more than welcome, GT, and thank you for the story and for living up to Judy's idealism of making the world a better place.
>>
>>30007395
>Yet another writeanon;
Wait... the very one?
>>
>>30008325
>My moment passed already
You say that, but I feel the seed has been planted...
>>
>>30008433
Never drop your seeds where you know the soil is fertile, anon.
Luckily, my mind is a desert! I'll go back to not writting and being a lazyass who gives a 5/1h87mins!
>>
>Pick up that can
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>>30008638
I'd leave the can there just to see if I could draw her close enough to grab. I'd have lots of fun with that shock-stick.
>>
https://twitter.com/okura_0426_/status/1256780914849230849?s=21

普段完璧な2人だからこそ、弱ってるところを見せられるのお互いだけだったらいいな…
>>
>>30008675
Nice Bogo.
Won't ask for source in here, the signature is visible.
>>
>>30008675
This is what happens when Disney leaves their mammals pantless.
>>
>>30008507
>lazyass who gives a 5/1h87mins!
Ok, you'll have to explain that one?
>>
what is it with amerimutts and the NIGGER word
serious question :3
>>
I have an idea for another movie
Hear me out:
>2029
>U.S is at war in Europe
>Nick gets drafted
>two-part love story where one is at home (Judy) while the other is in a war torn Europe (Nick)
>Nick has one of those near death moments where he gets shot by a Russian but manages to survive somehow
>Finally comes home to Judy after war ends
What do you think?
>>
>>30010047
I think you shouldn't quit your day job.
>>
>>30009756
5/5 = 5lines/5minutes
Therefore, fill in the blanks
>>
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>>30010185
Source?
>>
>>30009009
>普段完璧な2人だからこそ、弱ってるところを見せられるのお互いだけだったらいいな…
Because these two are always so perfect, I think it'd be really nice if they shared their weak moments only with each-other...
>>
>>30010047
>U.S.
>Europe
>Existing in Zootopia, a world where humans never existed and as such any and all country lines would most likely be drastically different

>Judy staying at home during some kind of war rather than Nick who would most likely be some kind of conscientious objector

Follow >>30010063's advice
>>
>>30010063
No no, I think he's onto something. Let's increase the cliche drama and pile more on it by having Judy cheat on Nick with Jack Savage, then when Nick comes back as an amputee and she's pregananant she'll move him to the couch, invite Jack to her bed and make Nick raise the kits, somehow, even though he's now only a head and torso with no limbs
>>
>>30010094
So, two hours twenty seven minutes for a 5/5?
That probably beats my record, although I did have dinner in the middle of writing that one.
>When she who must be obeyed puts out a meal, it is incumbent upon me to start eating post haste, lest I become the target of her ire for the rest of the evening.
>Mayhaps I should take a break from reading Wanmwad's Sherlock Holmes fictions...
>>
>>30010047
Not enough civilians being blown up by a distracted Clawhauser remote controlling drones
>>
>>30010562
Yeah, but you're implying i don't forget about the green, get sidetracked, go make other things, get even more sidetracked, then refresh the page to refresh the thread forgetting i never posted the green, and then forget what i was doing.
>>
>>30010545
You forgot the part where corners a Russian fox and is about to shoot him, when the other fox looks deeply at him and asks, "Nicholas?"
Nick let's his guard down and the other fox pulls the pin on a grenade.
Dead dad, disfigured Nick...
And he never finds out why!
>>
>>30010562
Wait, now that i think about it...
>>30003489
THIS GUY NEVER DELIVERED HIS STORY.
>>
>>30010619
I learnt a while back that writing GT's often runs up against the 2k character limit, so I write mine via a processor to get the breaks in the right places.
>>
>>30010427

https://twitter.com/Taigher_28/status/1253895416409731072
>>
>>30010640
So now Nick has no father, he has no arms or legs and he has no career in the military anymore, he goes home to his wife to find out that he has no wife anymore because she replaced him, and the only thing that he does have are kits that aren't his who were forced onto him, so he has to pretend to carry love that he no longer has in him for them so that he doesn't get his amputee ass kicked out like a dried up nugget that was just pulled out of a microwave
>>
>>30010545
>>30010640
>>30010785
This is just Two Savages, except more fucked up.
>>
>>30010756
Thanks.
>>
>>29997545
That's exactly what a tax evader would say.
>>
>>29998761
Twitter is fucking cancer and so many use it as an art gallery, holy shit.
>>
>>30010785
But it's okay, because that cute mechanic he met while he was at war finds him and gives him some mechanical limbs, and he knocks her up and it turns out she's Jack's ex-girlfriend; Jack is devastated that Skye has moved on, Judy is devastated that Nick is dropping her like a rock and Nick walks out with his new pregnant girlfriend while flipping Jack and Judy the bird with his new awesome robot paws.
>>
>>30000498
>DOUBLE-TRIPS!
anon I...
>>
>>30001085
IIRC the dude will scrape it from desuarchive in a few days.
>>
>>30003231
She was more hurt that he ate all the food.
>>
What thread OC could best convince a tired Anon to turn off his phone and fall asleep, just by snuggling into bed next to them?
I’m serious about this. It couldn’t be anyone in a relationship, because >implying NTR isn’t shit. That also disqualifies most of Pack Street depending on your headcanons (exactly how Charlie feels about Pandora, is Martina still Martina if she’s cuddling naked, is Ozzy gay, who is Remmy’s one true love who shouldn’t cuddle with anyone but him. . .) and anyone from the actual movie even if they’re single.
If we expanded this to Zootopia style anthros in general, you’d have lots of good options. Like Nan. But if you just look for thread OCs, it can get pretty difficult.
>>
>>30011522
...anon, is there something going on?
>>
I may not be able to stop Savage Cum-pony, but I can shit on it and its team and its fans.
>>
>>30008879
Why is she on a baseball infield?
>>
>>30011635
It's a bunny thing, you wouldn't understand.
>>
>>30011579
I’ve had mild insomnia for most of my life, and it gets worse when things are stressful. Things are very stressful now and questions like that help me fall asleep.
>>
>>30011522
i could, but i'm not an oc
>>
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>>30011813
I love what you did with his fur in the middle there
>>
>>30011813
VERY nice Duke you got there pal
>Newspaper
Lol, but please do take a rest.
>>
>>30004715
>Judy
Oh god, nick has a case of side face.
>>
>>30011813
The idea of Duke reading Garfield makes me happy for some reason, you're a rad duder Tangerine.
>>
>>29998818
Is it the sheath or MPreg like she usually draws?
>>
>>29995568
I dont frequent these threads but I will forever be annoyed that zootopia did such a good job with translating animal anatomy into their anthro designs yet they gave the main character, a rabbit, and anatomically incorrect nose. Rabbits don't have noses like Judy's, they look like this! I am really autistic about this. A lot of furries get this wrong but you think disney would do their homework.
>>
>>30011813
I want to smooch him
>>
>>30012194
I agree, Judy's face got the Disney treatment and is worse off for it.
>>
How does this play out?
>>
>>30012291
Nick fucks Judy and all the timelines are fixed
>>
>>30012346
correct
>>
>>30012346
But wasn't Booker Elizabeth's father in that game?
Does this mean Bellwether is just evil reality Nick?
>>
>>30012478
It definitely starts making a lot less sense when all the characters start becoming different species. (Not like it ever made much sense in the first place.)
>>
>>30012514
Yeah everyone thinks the plot is so great in Infinite but its really convoluted and full of problems.
>>
I think about bun dicks more then is strictly recommended.
>>
NICK YOU MOTHERFUCKIN PEICE OF SHIT GANGBANGING COCKSUCKA
>>
>>30012721
>>
Are there any fics where Nick is the one who can't keep his dick out of other mammals while Judy cries about it?
>>
>>30011522
Take a tube, they are perfect for snuggles.
>>
>>30012782
Wait, there are still free tubes?
>>
>>30012925

They don't want you to know this, but the tubes at the park are free, you can take them home
>>
>>30013018
Cut it out, Sleazy, you're going to get someone arrested.
>>
>>30012214
>I want to shoot him
FTFY
>>
>>30013072
With my dude goo.
>>
>>30012761
I remember there was one where Judy cheats on Nick because she needs to "clean the dirt off her" figuratively speaking

Nick does it in return and, lo and behold, Judy gets upset
>>
>>30013123
>"clean the dirt off her"
What...
>>
>>30012560
That's not a lot to think about
>>
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>>30013230
>>
>>30013018
NO
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>>30013303
Yeen butter sandwich.
>>
>>30013274
>>30013123
I remember that green, it was pretty fucked up
>>
>>30013274
Who's the vixen? I hope she's not related to him.
>>
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https://twitter.com/mepo_disney/status/1256889390044811266?s=20
>>
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>>30014365
>>
>>30014365
>ジュディ スカート似合うから普段からはけばいいのに~
>もったいない!
Skye: Judy, you really should wear skirts more often considering how great they look on you~
It'd be a waste not to!
>そういうスカイだっていつもはかないじゃない!
Judy: You're just saying that because you always wear skirts!

>>30014373
>私はねー ジャックとでかけるときしかスカートはかないってきめてるのよ!!
Skye: Actually, I've decided I'm only gonna wear a skirt when I'm out with Jack!!

>一方そのころ・・・
Meanwhile, at the same time...

>はっっ
>・・・なんか今スカイがめっちゃかわいいこと言った気がした・・・
>テレパシー?
Jack: *GASP*
... I get the feeling that someone just called Skye super-cute...
Is it telepathy?
>こわ・・・・・・
>(ドン引き)
Nick: Scary......
(backing away)
>ニック
Nick
>>
>>30014451
>"You should totally do more of this thing that I'm only going to do on special occasions from now on"
Isn't Skye being a bit hypocritical? Or is she trying to imply that Judy should go on dates?
>>
>>30014365
>>30014373
>>30014451
Skye thinking anything other than oil splattered overalls and coveralls is the height of fashion!? Truly this vix has lost her way...
>>
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>>30012194
Yeah, we've lost some good artists due to the mental stress that the non-bunny nose can cause. To be fair with the original artists, it seems it was a issue where they gave her original bunny noses. Might be some test group thing, if I'd have to sport a guess, people didn't like the wiggling of nose when it was a close-open motion as much as just some up and down motion.
>>
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>>30015239
>>
>>30012194
It's likely that Disney did do their homework, and decided they liked their way better. The movie has a lot of fudged animal details.
>>
>>30012194
>>30015239
wtf are you two talking about it? It looks like the real thing to me
>>
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>>30015369
>>
>>30015369
If it's red like that it's usually a sign that they are sick.
>>
>>30015387
is that true to domastic rabbits and wild rabbits alike? Cuz if Judy would be a cat, I would rather say you should compare her anatomy to a sand-cat rather a Persian cat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJeuWZNWImE
>>
>>30012194
You know what? Looking at the movie again, I have to say I'm glad they went the direction they did. Judy would have looked fucking weird with a bunny nose. Also, rabbits have a split upper lip. Again something that would have made Judy look like a freak.
>>
>>30015513
bad take
>>
>>30015540
Someone can handle the truth it seems. Pity.
>>
>>30006146
source?
>>
>>29998818
Considering she's behind him, I figured it was his tail.
>>
>>30015582
My apologies, Anon, but I don't know the source.
>>
>>30015246
That design would've totally worked if the movie were hand drawn
>>
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If Judy's nose is so wrong, then how wrong are these two then?
>>
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>>30015430
Lol
>>
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>>30015513
>>30015579
They had models like this in the film but giving Judy an accurate nose would make her a weird looking freak?
If anything it would have helped her look like she's actually a rabbit that belonged in the world, and not some impossibly beutiful protagonist bun that could only have come from a lab.
>>
>>30015822
>>
>>30015945
>Interspecies offspring confirmed! species
>>
>>30015513
i dont really have any qualms with it since there is a lot of design freedom they took to make some characters beautiful or unique (hairs, normal eye and tiny dawn, upper teeth bogo, black tailtip nick, thin necks, judy size), that being said, i do understand where all the mental unraveling that causes people to break down over the nose is coming from.
>>
>>30008879
is this an alec's that someone colored?
>>
>>30015582
>>30015629

https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/56686617
>>
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>>30015866
I was referring to Judy only. Not everyone else. I do find some of the other creatures rather weird, too (Like that pic you posted), or how "open" the mouth of the rhino is. (Rather creepy, actually) .

As for Judy, she is the main character of the movie. The camera is fixed on her throughout the entire runtime, with exceptions that can be counted in seconds. So yeah, since it's her (and Nick) that I have look at the most, I do appreciate that Disney went out of their way to make her look pleasing on the eyes.

And no I do not think she looks out of place at all. As for being beautiful, I honestly think that Gazelle and that snow leopard news reporter has her beaten in that department. Hell, some of those missing mammals (the pics on the wall in the briefing room) doesn't look too bad either.
>>
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>>30016126
Yup! And I miss Alec's old line style.
>>
>>30016214
I want you to have to look at and learn to enjoy ugly characters, fuck your eyes.
>>
>>30016236
You're the sort of person who actually thinks that "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie" was a masterpiece, don't you?
>>
nicc
>>
N I C C
I
C
C
>>
>>30016272
Low effort jumping to the furthest extreme bullshit post.
>>
>>30016421
Not really. You're advocating for ugly characters. That would be it.
You call that >>30015866 ugly? It's goofy at most.
>>
>>30016492
It's got a review score of 0, of course it's not a good movie.
You can have ugly characters in a good artstyle, writing is also a thing that exists and matters.
Do you not see how tying a characters goodness to their attractiveness is obviously a shitty thing?
I'd settle for average looking characters at this point, but still don't believe that Disney would ever do that.
>>
>>30003523
>>30010644

Abloo bloo pls no bully

>Nick had seen many a spectacular sunset in the city: over the Tundratown divide mountains, ethereal dusks over the billowing vapor of the climate wall, and plenty now from Central Station Plaza, where the spiraling facade of Challenger Tower picked up the last rays and sent them dazzling across the bustling tram tracks and glittering fountains.
>But his favorites had to be those from Judy's third-floor apartment, down the narrow artificial canyon of her nothing-special street, where most the light bounced off the facing high-rise instead of coming from the sun itself.
>None of those other city views had quite the same perks, he reflected, as a pair of soft paws circled around his tail and pulled it closer in his lap.
>And that was something no postcard or primo bluff-top real estate could ever capture.
>The sunset you watched was nowhere near as important as who you watched it with.
>>
>>30015397
She is sick. She wants to fuck a fox and be a cop
>>
>>30016690
Hey, WriteAnon! Thank you for the story. Would it be ok for me to write a critique?
>>
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>>30016603
People applauded the appearance of Merida, but She's only got a slightly rounder face, with everything else being perfect.
I'm sure the art team had to fight tooth and nail to keep even that.
>>
>>30016728
please do!
>>
>>30010587
"Clawhauser! Why are you blowing up schools?!?"
*omf nomf chew chew swallow*
"Terrorist training camps, sir."
"..."
"...carry on."
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>>30013727
>I remember that green
Bam!
...you're welcome.
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>>30016989
Didn't ask for it
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>>30017109
Go fuck yourself
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>>30016603
> Do you not see how tying a characters goodness to their attractiveness is obviously a shitty thing?
I must admit, that I have never seen it that way. I mean, I don't think Bellwether is ugly, despite being the bad guy. She's actually rather cute.

But if they went that direction, making Judy not conforming to normal beauty standards, it would just look like they were trying too hard. It would be a distraction from their main goal of the movie. I mean, "Chekhov's gun principle", if it's there on the screen it has to be addressed or included in the story. It would be strange if it were just ignored. Also, rabbits are supposed to be cute in this universe, which I don't see how they could be if they took the other route. It would have to be just her, that was "ugly". But now we're just adding more plot points into the story that has to be resolved within the 100 min mark.

What you're ultimately trying to go for would be a different movie, with a different message, I think.
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>>30017120
dude chill, whats your problem.

It's an abloobloo green that ends on a sour note, its natural people want either to not remember it or want to have it a satisfying conclusion.

You made me remember it, so I just wanted to remember a somewhat acceptable conclusion to it
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>>30017174
Bellwether is the ultimate proof of how bad it is.
They have the audience so geared to see beauty as goodness that simply making Bellwether pretty counts as a disguise.
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>>30016832
You use linear form; nothing wrong with that. You set up the thesis of your story in the first line (the amazing sunsets) and established your main (well only) character: Nick. We're off to a good start! You let the reader see how amazing the Next, you narrow our focus down to Judy's apartment and do a little compare-and-contrast (the elegance of Zootopia's towers compared to the modesty of her street), planting a question in the reader's mind: why would a drab apartment removed from the actual sunset be his favorite, compared to the grandeur of Zootopia itself? After that, you answer your question: Judy's there. Finally, you bring that point home by letting the reader know Judy is more important than any expensive or impressive view. That's good stuff for only five lines!

1 Run-on sentence; tries to do too much. This is a good setup, but the point is lost, instead of being emphasised, in the jumble of words. Sometimes, less is more. Pick out one detail that really brings home what you're trying to say (sunsets in Zootopia are pretty impressive), then try to use your words as a kind of "force multiplier" instead of trying to use more words. I know that probably sounds pretty jumbled, too. :)

(con't next post)
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>>30015369
A rabbits nose is usually only like that when they are breathing heavily or when they are sick.
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>>30015822
Criminally wrong
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>>30017227
2 I see what you're trying to say here. Again, it feels like you're forcing the scene with more words than is necessary. I really like the nothing-special street -- that's a great detail that sets up the compare-and-contrast. In fact, that single detail is really the crux of your whole story, but you rob yourself of the impact with unnecessary details. Condensing this down would make it more interesting: "But his favorites were (lose passive voice; "be" is never your friend) those he watched (what is Nick actually doing? What is his action?) from Judy's third-floor apartment, down at the end of her nothing-special street."

3 This line is a touch clunky. This line needs is your payoff; it has to be the most impactful. You're telling the reader why Nick chooses Judy's apartment over the grandiosity of Zootopia. Your subject is Judy's soft paws (I like how you don't mention her name and give the reader credit for their intelligence). I'd lose "he reflected" and replace it with something else. I understand you're anchoring Nick, however, but I can't think of a better way to do that offhand. Also, lose the "and pulled" part. End with the soft paws around his tail part.

4 This is good, but I'd leave the postcard part out since it's not previously referenced. Emphasise, cautiously, the contrast again. I'd also change the word order: lose "and" and put your subject first. "No primo buff-top real estate (eh, I don't like this -- it feels too generic; can you add a specific detail that makes this sentence pop?) could ever compare with (some specific detail that directly names Judy, so we know Nick is talking about her now: Judy's paws; smile; smell; hug)

5 Great payoff! This is perfect!

(sorry, I missed a whole sentence in the first paragraph of my initial review: "You let the reader see how amazing the (Zootopia sunsets are). Next (...)

Also, the numbers are the individual lines in your story)
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>>30017120
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fuckm
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>>30017222
> They have the audience so geared to see beauty as goodness
But then subsequently shatter that illusion at the end.
In the same way that just because Judy is good looking doesn't mean, she can't fuck up.
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>>30017293
I don't think it's shattering an illusion if the audience is never made aware of the trick.
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Mmmmmm, I'm having good sex with Fuel's buttcrack...pumping some more "fuel" into his poop canal. Next I'm gettin a blowie...
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>>30012560
Sounds like a really small problem to have.
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>>30017377
Bellwether has always been referred to as the weak point of the movie. I'm fairly certain that most people didn't buy into that trick in the first place. But even for those people who did, I do find it hard to believe that they all went "It's Lionheart because he's so ugly".
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>>30017530
It made it really easy for people to not see Duke as a real character and find no problem with Judy doing all sorts of fucked up things to him even though he only stole plant buds and sold counterfeit dvd's.
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>Poor little sheep girl
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>>30017583
...on that note, why they need Duke to steal from a flower shop?
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>>30017397
>sticking your dick in places poop has been
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>>30017530
Imagine if Dawn was revealed as the villain 2/3rds of the way through and she had a villain song
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>>30017634
I'm still baffled by this scene. All the police officers are far too composed. They don't look mad or determined, they look like a disapproving parent after the kid got an F in school, and not like a person that literally organized a terrorist attack against hundreds of thousands of civilians
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>>30017583
That was Disney's way of saying "If you bootleg our stuff then this is what you are and this is what you deserve".

But fuck yeah, I did and still do have a problem with how they handled that scene at the end. Judy going full mafia was a complete breach of her character, in my opinion. They had a great opportunity to show us how well Judy and Nick could have worked together, using their combined wits to outsmart Duke, but no. Apparently this simple thief and bootlegger are smarter than them, so they had to use brute force.

>>30017638
It was a controlled substance, so buying it would have aroused suspicion. Duke is small, so he can easily be overlooked, and did probably get away with it numbers times before without being detected.
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>>30017638
Then who would Judy chase to show her impulsiveness and total disregard for public safety?
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>>30017583
To be fair, it is easy to be less sympathetic toward him when he has a connection to the Night Howlers and wasn’t going to cooperate. He probably didn’t know what they were being used for exactly but he knew Doug was bad news.

>>30017638
Apparently Doug used to get his Night Howlers by threatening Otterton, but he had to “silence” him when he tried to go to Mr. Big. I’m assuming that they decided it was too risky to try that with another flower shop owner so they just had Duke steal them.
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>>30017530
Most iconic villains are not ugly, they are cool.
I think that's the problem here.

Bellwether is just... not a cool villain, she is a twist villain. And those tend to be more of the "unmemorible background guy nobody expected to be a bad" because disney doesn't have the guts to make people fall in love with a major character only to reveal that its a bad guy.
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>>30017740
Wasn't Doug silencing of Emmitt because he made the connection between the savage cases and the Nighthowler flower?
Where it is told that Doug was threatening him?
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>>30017931
In this interview.

https://www.animationsource.org/zootopia/en/articles/Byron-Howard-Q-A/263560.html&id_film=163

>Emmit was being threatened into supplying the Night Howler bulbs to the sheep, and when he discovered what they were being used for, he went to his family friend, Mr. Big to help him out of this terrible situation. The sheep suspected that Otterton might be a risk so they decided to send out Doug to dart him and send him savage."
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>>30017725
top of her class btw
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Page 10
Time to die
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>>30018250
in the navy seals
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>>29996733
Can whoever starts the next thread please use this image?
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NEW THREAD :V

>>30018791

>>30018791

>>30018791
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